So the main question running through your head right now is why did you decide to start a blog? Well, in order for me to get to that answer, we’ll have to look back in time.
Let’s rewind back a few years. In 2014, my life was as close to perfect as it could get. I graduated high school with honors and was going to my dream school. Even though I was 12 hours away from my home and my family, I adjusted quickly. I broke out of my shyness and found a group of friends and even a boyfriend, who I was insanely, ridiculously in love with. When I wasn’t busy slaying my exams in the classroom, I was out embracing the HBCU lifestyle by twerking at crowded house parties and spending quality time with my man on the front steps of my dorm. I mean, ya girl had it all: beauty, brains, and a fine educated black man?
Chile, please. Be real
Okay, so maybe I exaggerated a little bit. But for the most part, life was good.
So…what happened then? What changed?
Well, like most 20-somethings who leave home way too soon, the pressures and realities of adulthood hit me like a truck. Everything was changing too much, too quickly. My dream school turned out to be less than dreamy (it was actually hell on Earth, but that’s a whole different story altogether), my once pristine GPA was steadily falling, and my once perfect relationship turned out to be toxic. To make things even worse, my depression and anxiety came back full force. I started isolating myself from my friends by ignoring calls and texts, I was always mad at my boyfriend, and I stopped putting effort into my appearance because “it’s not like anyone ever cares enough to notice anyways”. For some reason, I continued to deny that anything was wrong and tried to force myself to carry on as normal.
My breaking point was around April or May of last year, when I began to purposely harm myself. I was starving myself and on my worst days, I would cut. I was determined that my life wasn’t worth living anymore. It seemed like I was making mistakes left and right, and all of my meaningful relationships were falling apart. Worried out of her mind, my mother demanded I stay home for the summer and longer if needed, just until I felt stable enough to go back. Looking back, that was the best decision I could have ever made, because once I got home, I was able to get the counseling and help that I needed, along with the added support of my mom and grandmother.
So why did I decide to start a blog? Because I know that there’s people out there who feel the same way I felt and I want them to know that they’re not alone. I want them to be able to have a safe haven to come to when they need support or just a good laugh. I chose to make my blog focus on beauty and mental health because makeup was one of the first hobbies I surrounded myself with when I started getting help. It taught me how to love myself again. So to all my lovelies that are going through tough times, just take a deep breath, pray about it, grab a glass of Henny and relax: things get better.
**If you need to speak to someone immediately, please utilize any of the links below**
Suicide Hotline (This page also has international hotlines as well)
Maya, I’m glad you were able to get help. I’m glad you created your blog. Not only will you help others going through the same thing but you will see have therapeutic sharing your own story is to you.
Thanks for sharing your story, Maya. It is crazy how we all try and have it figured out but life can be like nope, not today. I find that dealing with mental illness as a black woman is hard because I’ve never felt like it is okay for me to talk about this part of my life. I’m thankful that you have family who cares about you enough to help you get the help you need/deserve. Its also very brave of you to share such an intimate part of your life. Every time I talk about my mental health, I’m always weary of how people may perceive me. Keep sharing, sis!
Thank you for sharing your story. And I am so grateful that you have a support system and even more than that, you are allowing yourself to be supported. Your story is going to help others. Your willingness to share is like a beacon of hope, lighting the way for others.
Thank you so so much for sharing your journey. Deep bow to you ??
It’s great that you shared your story with the whole wide web. I’m sure many people will find you as an inspiration to seek help.
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sure it is hard to put all that out there but you are right, your story will help others. I’m so glad you got the help you needed! good luck on your blog!
I am sending you so many internet hugs right now. I am in recovery from self injury and it is something that I struggle with every day. I just started a mental health blog and just having an outlet has helped immensely. It is important to get your story out there because everyone is different and you never know how your story can help someone. thank you for sharing this. I will definitely be subscribing because I love makeup and can also relate to the mental health topics.
hey maya…i loved reading your story…your title…your transparency
I really love your transparency. I almost went there. My mom called my advisor who then called the school counselor (in college). She didn’t play. I got the help I needed and kept moving.
Thank you for sharing this. I resonate with your story very much, and admire your bravery for sharing your story.